Ah! Banjo fooled you. You thought Banjo was going to offer advice on how to become wealthy. Banjo is not wealthy. Offering unsolicited advice is like writing a poem—nobody ever asks you to do it. And it’s just as lucrative. Maybe even less lucrative. Sometimes writing a poem gets you amorous attention, or at least plus-oned on the guest list for your friend’s friend’s rock band’s next show.

Nevertheless, Banjo feels Rich, and you, too, can feel rich like Banjo does and maybe also become wealthy in the process, simply by following Banjo's advice.

The best way to become rich AND wealthy is to do what you love and get paid a lot for it. That’s tough. Most people love doing things that don’t pay much. Riding motorcycles. Watching TV. Eating. Gardening. Playing music. Writing poetry. Conducting intimate relations (with oneself or with others). Cleaning bathrooms with toothbrushes. Sure, there are people who get paid well to do these things (Banjo once had a semi-lucrative job where all he did was watch television all day), but there almost always is a catch (he didn’t get to watch shows he actually liked, and by the time he got home and could watch shows he liked, he was too tired of watching television to watch them. He learned to hate watching television, something that used to provide him comfort and joy. Never again. He now lives in fear of turning on the television, lest it again hurt him, a shell of his former self, still searching for an enjoyable couch-based activity to fill the Void.). So make that thing you love to do a hobby. Or be comfortable with being poor. It’s an easy choice. Do what you love once in a while, or do it all the time and get used to rice and beans three times a day, every day. You will find out how much you actually love it, and if it’s still "a lot!" you won’t mind the rice and beans and crazy landlord and broken thermostat and car that only starts when you can get someone to give you a jump as you stand by the roadside holding up your jumper cables.

The other way to get wealthy is to do something that pays a lot but that you don’t like doing much. There probably are dentists who LOVE helping people achieve optimal dental health. But almost everyone who goes to dental school does it because they know a career in dentistry will make them wealthy. Bad reason. Not to pick on dentists—there are many other jobs and careers that people pursue primarily for the big paycheck. (You are thinking of some of them now.) This kind of employment and wealth acquisition sucks your soul and makes you a bad person.

BUD NIPPING: Let’s pause just a moment, dentists. Do not spam Banjo with complaints such as, "I am a dentist, and I LOVE my job, and I have a soul, and I contribute to my community, blah, blah, etc." Banjo empathizes with the Profession of Dentistry and means it no specific harm (general harm...maybe). But he has to choose illustrative examples. And he has yet to meet a dentist who seemed REALLY EXCITED to be poking around in his mouth. Focus your Banjo-hating energies on consistently conveying dental excitedness throughout your profession. That’s my advice to you.

Let’s review. If you work at a job primarily because it pays well, you already are or will soon become a soul-less, rotten, mind-warped cockroach of a person. You might still be nice. You might still have friends. You might still volunteer to coach you kid’s lacrosse team. But you will be a poor failure according to Banjo. You will not be Rich. You will not be Excellent.

Banjo’s Rule Number One: Be Excellent.

Which brings us to how you can be rich like Banjo. It’s easy. Be Excellent. If you are Excellent most of the time (nobody is perfect) you will be rich. You will be proud of the work you do, the relationships you maintain, the stuff you have (even if it isn’t as much stuff or as fancy stuff as a Lexus driver has. $60K is a lot of money to pay for a car that doesn’t even have blinkers. Says the Lexus driver via Banjo-hating email: "A Lexus does, too, have blinkers!" To which Banjo replies, "Then why has Banjo never seen a Lexus driver use one?"). Be Excellent, use your blinkers, and you will feel Rich Like Banjo.